Time to wind this thing up, but before I go, here are a couple of tip-offs for tonight.

If you're in Glasgow, go and see Mac DeMarco at The Arches. He might not do that thing with the drumsticks, but he'll certainly play some lovably slack indie-rock ditties.

And if you're in London, go and see tropical indie-pop trio Beaty Heart at the Sebright Arms. This is how they do:

On telly, there's Penny Dreadful, Happy Valley and the final Mr Drew. And tune into Jools for Kelis, Chrissie Hynde and the incomparable White Denim. Gwilym's with you tomorrow. Byee.

Brilliant Swedish pop provocateurs The Knife have just announced a new mini-album of "shaken up" versions of tracks from their back catalogue. They were reworked for maximum dancealongability for last year's Shaking The Habitual tour – the one where they chose to perform gleeful synchronised dance routines in lieu of playing live instruments, to the consternation of idiots.

This remix of Without You My Life Would Be Boring improves on the already frisky original, and comes complete with a silly yet gently subversive video of people cutting loose in a hospital.

It's the mid-afternoon lull, time for some muggy hip-hop meandering. First up here's Tyga, who gets better and better with each release. Could his forthcoming The Gold Album: 18th Dynasty (executive produced by one K. West) be the big rap crossover record of the summer?

And here's Guide fave Future at his most Dungeon Family-esque with a new track featuring the excellently-named Green Socks.

Apparently this is taken from an upcoming Dungeon Family-produced movie called Tax Time. Presumably this not an instructional guide to filling out your self-assessment form, although there are some rappers who could probably use the advice.

When Die Antwoord first appeared in 2008, the internet tied itself in knots trying to work out if they (and their Afrikaans white trash image) were a joke or not. They might not have been 4 Real exactly, but they've turned out to be more of a satirical art project than a goofy prank – and they've still got the power to shock, as their latest video proves.

Guardian Music's got the scoop on their new album, which features tracks called things like Happy Go Sucky Fucky and Raging Zef Boner. Can't imagine wanting to listen to it for more than three seconds, but if you watched that video to the end, their work is done.

Q: Who is the greatest singer of all time?

A: Axl Rose, of course.

That is, if by 'greatest singer' you mean biggest pillock singer with the greatest vocal range. Some boffin analysed the catalogues of various famous pop singers, measuring their highest and lowest recorded notes. And incredibly the Guns N Roses caterwauler comes out on top, ahead of Mariah and Prince. Apparently Axl can go lower than Barry White and higher than Beyonce.

Still can't believe it? Here's some evidence of Axl's versatile pipes. Shame he hasn't put them to better use over the years.

No doubt about who's got the highest range. Warning: don't play this video if there's a dog in the house, or if you're in close proximity to some delicate glassware.

Maybe, technically, Axl could go lower. But ain't nobody who could wallow down there like Barry.

We've had Storage Hunters, Storage Wars, Salvage Hunters and Auction Hunters. And now I think I've found the nadir of the auction battle show trend, in the form of Quest TV's Baggage Battles. It's basically Storage Hunters, but instead of abandoned lock-ups they visit those slightly tawdry police auctions where they auction off unclaimed left luggage.

They haven't even bothered to change the stock character types. There's the goateed jock, the squabbling couple and the well-dressed gent whose eccentric attire suggests he may be a connoisseur but who's actually as clueless as the rest of them when it comes to judging what anything's worth. Mostly they're bidding on suitcases they can't even open, so they just end up with a pile of someone else's dirty washing.

This being an American-made show, the funniest episodes are when they come to Europe. The idea that anything can be more than 100 years old just blows their minds. Here's the Irish episode, although it's not quite as amusing/awful as the Scottish episode I watched at the weekend, where they insisted on pronouncing Glasgow to rhyme with cow, and had to subtitle some of the locals.

The other week, we told you all about the surprise success of channel Dave. Well if Dave is the "home of witty banter" then Quest appears to be the home of knock-off versions of programmes on Dave.

While Dave's got Storage Hunters, Quest's got Baggage Battles. While Dave's got Man V Food, Quest's got United States Of Bacon. While Dave's got Megatruckers, Quest's got Outback Truckers. And while Dave's got old episodes of Top Gear, Quests's got Brian Johnson's Cars That Rock, which makes Clarkson and co's banter look positively enlightened. "Look at the bum on that" exclaims the AC/DC bellower at one point. I think he is talking about a car. On the other hand, it is quite fun to watch a gruff Geordie in a flat cap and a too-tight T-shirt gunning a Rolls Royce.

Here's something to save your book tokens for – the writer of such moving lyrical treatises as I Luh Ya Papi and We Are One (Ole Ola) is writing an autobiographical tome.

True Love will be about "one of her life's most defining periods – the transformative two-year journey of how, as an artist and a mother, she confronted her greatest challenges, identified her biggest fears, and ultimately emerged a stronger person than she's ever been."

Sounds a bit dull to me. Let's hope for a chapter written in the style of On The Floor, with interjections from Pitbull.

J-Lo:

If you go hard you gotta get on the floor
If you're a party freak then step on the floor
If you're an animal then tear up the floor
Break a sweat on the floor
Yeah we work on the floor
Don’t stop keep it moving
Put your drinks up
Pick your body up and drop it on the floor
Let the rhythm change your world on the floor
You know we’re running shit tonight on the floor

Pitbull:

Now, now pump-pump-pump-pum-pum-pump-pump it up
And back it up like a Tonka truck

Literary genius right there.

He's a rum fella is Bonnie 'Prince' Billy. Here's a lovely new track, recorded with regular collaborators The Cairo Gang. Entitled We Love Our Hole, it's billed as a straight-up ode to the places we call home, but given Will Oldham's past form (this is a man who once recorded a song called You Have Cum in Your Hair And Your Dick is Hanging Out) you can't believe he isn't internally relishing the double entendre of the chorus each time he sings it.

The reason there's a surfer dude in the background there is because this song comes from the soundtrack of a new a film called Spirit Of Akasha – a "reimagining" of seminal Australian surf film Morning Of The Earth. Spirit Of Akasha also features music from the likes of Pond, Atoms For Peace and Dirty Three.

If you're in need of 75 minutes worth of supreme chill on this hectic Tuesday, here's the original 1971 movie in its entirely.

One thing we don't see much of in that Guardians Of The Galaxy trailer is Karen Gillan as the villain Nebula, a role for which she famously got the clippers out.

The shaving of the head appears to be a rite of passage for former Doctor Who stars trying to make a clean break from the Tardis. Here's ex-Doctor Matt Smith flexing his muscles in a dreamlike teaser for Ryan Gosling's directorial debut Lost River. It's premiering at Cannes today, so check the Guardian Film site this evening to find out whether it's a work of enigmatic genius or a load of self-indulgent old tosh. Excitingly, it looks like it could go either way.

If, like me, you can't really be bothered to keep up with events in Marvel's ever-expanding, self-referential and faintly pompous universe, then Guardians Of The Galaxy looks it could be the Marvel film for you. Judging by the latest trailer, it should please the fanboys without alienating viewers who don't really give two figs about what a particular superhero's leggings are supposed to look like. It sends itself up while still looking cool. And Vin Diesel is playing a tree.

Some things to note:

As Nova Prime, Glenn Close's look seems to be modelled on the Guide's upcoming cover star, Robyn.

Bradley Cooper gives great "oh yeah".

Vin Diesel makes a surprisingly empathetic tree.

Yellow is always a strong look.

And CDs might already be yesterday's tech, but cassette mixtapes will still be the method for convincing potential partners of your awesomeness for many millennia to come.

Welcome, one and all, to today's periodically updating pop culture liveblog. Loads of stuff to unload today, so let's start with MIA's new video for Double Bubble Trouble, which she directed herself. Consequently, it's the most MIA thing ever, featuring loads of zeitgeisty and vaguely provocative references – 3D-printed guns, drones, bongs, council estate kids making out – all mashed up into a retina-scorching neon collage. The trap-style song already sounds a bit dated, though.