When I was 12, I was head chorister of the school choir. O for the Wings of a Dove? Been there. The descant to the final verse of Once in Royal David’s City? Sung that. Then my voice broke and my musical prowess went south.
So it was with hope in my heart that I unpacked the Singtrix karaoke machine. “Singtrix can make anyone sing like their favourite star,” boasts the publicity blurb. “Your voice will sound noticeably better without sounding unnatural, making bad singers sound good and good singers sound amazing!” Bring it on.
I assembled the components and plugged in my iPod, which was loaded with an embarrassing amount of 70s and 80s disco, courtesy of a recent party. Here we go: That’s the Way I Like it by KC and the Sunshine Band. The intro, a succession of “do do dos”, emerges crystal clear, then in comes KC with the first chorus. I press the “song voice” button on the Singtrix box and, as if by magic, KC fades into the background and it’s my cue: “That’s the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh uh-huh, That’s the way…” Hey, I don’t sound half bad. But wait a minute: I don’t know any more words. Where do I find the lyrics? Help.
An iPod is no good on its own, it turns out, unless you have a complete set of KC and the Sunshine Band lyrics to hand. Summon the iPad, and with it, the free Singtrix app of 11 song lyrics (if you want more you have to pay for them). Mean, by Taylor Swift? Meh. As Long As You Love Me, by Justin Bieber feat Big Sean? No thanks. I opt for Amazing Grace. But the tempo of this rendition is so slow as to be almost impossible to sing.
By now, some friends have dropped by to play with my new toy (my teenaged children have disappeared at the merest hint of dad-dancing). One visitor sings in and another plays in a band, so: a) they’re musical; and b) they have words and music to Bruce Springsteen, Cher and more.
We attach the second microphone, and take turns. Microphone A is the cool one, the one that can make your voice sound like Barry White, Tinker Bell, a choir of carol singers and 339 other options; microphone B tells it like it is. It’s no surprise that Clare, the singer, sounds great on both, while I am clearly more suited to microphone A. Now I sound like a chanting monk! A prank caller! Darth Vader! Now I have my own backing singers!
Singtrix is undoubtedly a seriously clever piece of kit. It does indeed transform your voice. But, call me old-fashioned, do I really want to spend £299 on sounding like someone who isn’t me? Isn’t the art of karaoke to do the best you can with your own voice, however limited? I know what answer my school choirmaster would give.
