If historians of the future wish to analyse British culture in 2018, they could do worse than inspect the Strictly Come Dancing kiss scandal. First, front pages were emblazoned with reports that Seann Walsh and professional dance partner Katya Jones had been caught “snogging” outside a club (which makes it sound like Strictly is Britain’s bike shed and the British media are collectively skiving maths). Then, on Tuesday, Walsh’s long-term partner, actor Rebecca Humphries, accused the comedian of “controlling” behaviour, alleging Walsh had been “aggressively, and repeatedly, call[ing] me a psycho/nuts/mental”. At the time of going to press, Walsh had not responded to these claims.

A story that started as a bit of fluff has quickly shifted into one about the dangers of controlling relationships. Humphries’ post on Twitter was a powerhouse takedown of an ex-boyfriend, from adding the extra N in his first name in brackets – to show it is an affectation – to taking their pet cat. But it’s her description of allegedly abusive behaviour that really stands out, as well as her show of solidarity with other women in similar situations. “I have a voice and will use it by saying this to any woman out there who, deep down, feels worthless and trapped with a man they love,” she wrote. “Believe in yourself and your instincts. It’s more than lying. It’s controlling.” Calling out alleged gaslighting publicly is particularly powerful because it thrives on isolation and secrecy: a victim is led to question her own version of reality, while her protestations are used as evidence she is “crazy”.

There’s much snobbery around the cultural impact of shows such as Strictly, not least because they are aimed predominantly at women. But the truth is the very shows too often dismissed as vacuous can be vital forces in tackling social issues. The death of OK! favourite Jade Goody did much to raise awareness of cervical cancer among young women, while racism rows on Big Brother bring home prejudice in a way earnest campaigns often don’t. In the summer, Love Island became a vehicle for warning about unhealthy behaviour in relationships, with the charity Women’s Aid saying there were “clear warning signs” in Adam Collard’s treatment of fellow contestant Rosie Williams. A Twitter post like Humphries’ can do more to educate young girls than the best charity campaign.

But if there is a lesson in any of this, it is surely that we should be wary of using other people for entertainment fodder. There is something very uncomfortable about the way large sections of the press come over all Mary Whitehouse with the slightest whiff of sex, while titillating the reader with as many juicy details as possible. The Daily Mail is particularly adept at simultaneously calling a woman a slut while printing a picture of her in little more than her underwear, but most media use this tactic for sales. The Mirror reported on Tuesday that Strictly bosses have changed the planned dance being rehearsed by “shamed pair” Walsh and Jones in a bid to make it “less sexy”, even putting Jones in a “less revealing costume” (presumably wardrobe are now working on a glittery sackcloth-and-ashes look).

This discomfort has rapidly increased in light of the recent revelations. Suddenly, leafing through the fall out of a sneaky snog seems less fun. The allegations from Walsh’s now ex-partner are a swift reminder to any of us taking pleasure in these stories as some light entertainment: behind the headlines sit the lives and pain of real people.

Don’t be too Swift to dismiss Taylor’s teenage voters

“Middle-aged men whine about Taylor Swift having an opinion” is my new favourite corner of the internet. Since Swift came out in support of Democratic nominees to her 112 million Instagram followers, voter registration for the upcoming midterm elections has reportedly spiked – 65,000 registrations in the 24 hours after her post. Still, there are always victims and, as is often the way, those victims happen to be white men. Donald Trump has lamented that he now likes Swift’s music “25% less”. Does that mean he will now only sing along to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together in his PJs with three-quarters the enthusiasm?

His disapproving response was shared – completely coincidentally you understand – by neo-Nazi basement dwellers who suggested Swift had killed her career. There’s a stench of ownership around all this, as if Swift is not a multimillionaire global pop star who barely registers these men’s existence, but a woman who exists purely to fit into the mould men have made – and, once she dares to step out of it, who will be punished for it.

Despite the sinister undertones, I can’t help but find it all quite hilarious, as scores of sexist men try to show us what a silly girl Swift is – by pouting because she was mean to them. One mainstream Republican expressed his displeasure with Swift by promising she would not be able to, in the words of one of her hits, “shake it off” – like a teenager quoting song lyrics in the back of his diary.

Meanwhile, Governor Mike Huckabee tweeted: “It won’t impact election unless we allow 13 yr old girls to vote.” To use that technical phrase favoured by political pollsters: me thinks he doth protest too much. Beside, he forgot one important thing. Little girls soon enough grow into powerful women. Just look at Swift.

We’re all coughing up for Eugenie’s dream wedding

The cost to the taxpayer of Princess Eugenie’s lavish wedding is reportedly spiralling – with an extra £250,000 now added to that original £2m price tag. Any bride and groom will relate to this, surely. One minute you are on top of the wedding budget and the next your dad says you need to invite great uncle Frank, and before you know it, you are having to find a way to pay seven figures for security for an open-top gold carriage ride. I put the blame squarely on Disney for indoctrinating young girls with dreams of fairytale weddings. And us suckers for still having a country with real-life princesses.

• This article was corrected on 11 October 2018. Rebecca Humphries made her statement on Twitter, not on Instagram as an earlier version said.