Do drink water ffs

“You need it! You’re not gonna survive without it. Maybe get a Dioralyte in there, too, or a Berocca – they’re also great things to have, just to keep you going. And always have a water between alcoholic drinks. It makes you feel more drunk as well, so you’re winning on both sides.”

Do take a mini-stove

“Somebody in a tent next to me was making a full veggie English breakfast on a little griddle and they made me one. It was the first time I played Glastonbury at the BBC Introducing stage. There was halloumi cheese, avocado, beans, veggie sausage, hash browns and toast. They also had a little oven so the hash browns were extra crispy. Good times.”

Do make a nice sarnie

“If I had time it’d be a sandwich situation – you’ve got to be sensible. Loads of different kinds of fillings. Right at this moment I’m making some scrambled tofu with some veggie sausages and harissa and onions, so something like that. I’m not veggie but I’m not eating as much meat now.”

Do go to Europe

“European festivals, as far as food goes, are so much better than UK festivals. Miles ahead. Except for some of the French festivals because they don’t get that not everybody wants cheese and ham. That’s the only place where if you say you’re vegetarian they’re like: ‘Here’s a tomato.’”

Do have a lovely Guinness

“The best festival alcoholic drink is Guinness. Why? Because I’m coming up to the age of 25 when you can legally advertise alcohol and that’s the one I’d like to choose. Guinness is wicked because it’s not fizzy, so you can get a few down you without burping in front of everyone. It’s better than a sugary mixed drink which will make you crash, and if you’re a proper festival partier you’re gonna crash pretty hard anyway. You don’t need to be adding to that with loads of sugar.”

Don’t go to the stalls at carnival

“If Notting Hill carnival can be classed as a festival then carnival is the best place for food. It’s the first place I ever really understood the Caribbean side of myself ’cos I’m from South America, from Guyana, which is kind of classed as the Caribbean. You should go to the Caribbean restaurants, don’t go to one of the stalls because they’re charging you a stupid amount for not-very-good jerk chicken. Go to an actual shop because it’ll be open and for the one time of the year they won’t make you feel awkward if you’re not Caribbean because they want to sell loads of food.”

Don’t pretend your drugs are salt

“Salt is the most important thing to take; I always have a little bit of salt on me. I don’t do drugs but I’ve always got salt in my pocket and a lot of people search me and say: ‘What is this? You can’t have drugs,’ and I’m like: ‘Guys, it’s pink Himalayan salt.’ Sometimes it’s been confiscated, so I’ve got a little mini-tin that I put it in, which looks even more conspicuous. So everyone who’s reading this and thinking that’s the best way to take your drugs in, don’t take that from me. I’m not an advocate for drugs; I’m an advocate for pink Himalayan salt.”

Don’t go near the hog roast

“I used to really like a hog roast when I was younger, but I don’t eat pork any more and the bread and pork and a little bit of apple sauce is just so dry at festivals. It’s rubbish. A festival hog roast is not a real hog roast, especially the later in the weekend it gets.”

Don’t forget emergency snacks

“Dairylea Dunkers. Loads of them. They’re just a timeless snack. They were perfect for me after school, perfect on a tour bus, perfect before a show and after a show. It’s a lot of dairy but sometimes you’ve got to do what’s right. Also my DJ Rebel Kleff was the face of Dairylea Dunkers when he was 10 years old.”

Don’t get food poisoning

“I once saw a girl shit in a cup at Camp Bestival. It was grim.”

Loyle Carner performs at Liverpool Sound City, Glastonbury, Parklife, Lovebox, Nass and Latitude