What has been your most cringeworthy run-in with a celebrity?

Oh my god, so many. Here is a story I’ve never told. Kelis asked me to come to her studio and work on a beat for her – this was in her Bossy era. I had a bit of a cold but I was not giving up this opportunity. But I had only one beat to play. She got there, she listened and said, “This is cool.’” She recorded it, did some vocals on it. Then she went, “Do you have any more?”

I didn’t have anything else! I started to get nervous. We were in this very high-end studio that had glass walls, so I went, “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom”, went to walk out and smashed my face right into the studio glass. My nose started bleeding. And then she was like, “I don’t feel so good. I’m going to go.”

What’s your most controversial pop culture opinion?

Blackout is Britney Spears’ best album.

You used to live with Feist, above a sex shop called Come as You Are, in Toronto. What is she like as a roomie?

This was like 25 years ago but back then, she was a little hustler. In the best way possible! She was trying to make money, trying to make her art, trying to get things going. And leaving a trail of broken hearts behind her.

What has been your biggest fashion crime to date?

I’ve turned all of my biggest fashion crimes into fashion styles. I’ve had a mullet since 1999.

Which animal do you most relate to?

A squirrel. He’s just, like, gathering those nuts, getting it together. I’m a very squirrelly kind of person. I’m always gathering those nuts.

What is the weirdest thing you have eaten?

I ate live squid in South Korea. It’s like a beer snack there. It has just been killed, but the tentacles are still alive, so you have to chew it really well because the suckers will suction on to your gums. It really wasn’t nice.

Fuck the Pain Away has an amazing legacy – how many best song lists it is on, how many musicians have said it influenced them. Does that surprise you?

It was surprising that it became a song at all. The recording that exists was the first time I ever played that song and I never recorded it again. So the fact it made it out into the world at all, that surprises me every time I hear it.

Who do you want to play you in the biopic of your life?

Amy Taylor from Amyl and the Sniffers.

If you had a sandwich named after you, what would be in it?

Lots and lots of mustard and so many kinds of cheese. Stinky, hard cheese like an old Gouda, or some old cheddar. As for the bread – the bread is made of cheese. I am big on cheese. You know, in Belgium, they dip cheese into mustard as a snack? I’m all for it.

If you had to fight a famous person, who would it be, how would you fight them and who would win?

I would fight Charli xcx. We would pull each other’s hair until we were all tangled with each other and we could no longer pull each other’s hair. It would be a draw because now we’d have to walk around with our heads stuck together.

• The documentary Teaches of Peaches will be released on DocPlay in Australia on 30 December.