Gwilym Mumford 

The Guide #176: Seas of smartphones and bulky backpacks: the worst things about going to gigs

This week, our inbox filled up with critics’ and readers’ least favourite things about live music, from the death of the cloakroom to two-day drum solos
  
  

Taylor Swift fans holding phones at her concert at Murrayfield stadium in Edinburgh on 7 June 2024.
Taylor Swift fans at her concert at Murrayfield stadium in Edinburgh on 7 June 2024. Photograph: David Fisher/Rex/Shutterstock

This year has the potential to be an incredible one for live music. There is of course, the return of the greatest wibbling rivalry in pop. But even discounting for the Super Monobrow Bros, the next 12 months will be bursting with performance, from sugary-sweet pop to the most brutal black metal, played everywhere from gigantic stadiums, to the tiniest of toilet venues. Hearteningly, it seems that live music attendances have recovered after cratering during Covid – though of course smaller gig venues remain in peril (if you can visit one this weekend, please do – it’s Independent Venue Week).

Yet while our capacity for gig-enjoying has never been higher, it does have its limits. In last week’s newsletter we asked you to share your biggest gig gripes and the response was massive: the Guide inbox was bursting with annoyances, ranging from the significant (accessibility at venues) to the minor but still irritating (that bloke in the moshpit with the backpack pressing into your chest). Your responses were so great that we thought we’d run a bumper collection of them. We’ve also asked some of the Guardian’s music critics – who have to attend a LOT of gigs, and as such have had a LOT of pints spilled on them over the years – to share their gripes too …

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The great cloakroom swindle

After almost two years out of action thanks to Covid, the UK’s surviving venues were desperate to welcome punters, primed to buy beer and merch, back through their doors. Seemingly intent on clawing back losses wherever possible, the percentage they took on that merch caused many artists – also trying to recoup their own pandemic-induced losses – to revolt and set up their own popup shops near venues. But in many London spots, at least, one staple revenue stream seemed to shut down for good: the venue-operated cloakroom. I’ve been to many gigs at branded venues that no longer operate a secure place to stash your coat, but instead seem to operate in tandem with a neighbouring kebab shop, offering the dubious privilege of paying a tenner to leave your bag behind the fryers. The system reeks – literally. Laura Snapes

The audience taking centre stage

I can’t stand concert attenders who have learned every step of choreography for a show and then decide to put on their own mini-performance in the crowd. I don’t mean when everyone does the Charli xcx Apple TikTok dance, but the obnoxious zealot with main character syndrome who clears a space (sometimes pushing away other concertgoers) and has all their friends filming them mimic the routine for ages. I saw a lot of it at Renaissance World Tour in 2023 - we’re here to see Beyoncé’s dance break, not yours! Jason Okundaye

Parking

As a music reviewer living in a rural area, I have to drive to gigs, so the rocketing cost and difficulty of parking near venues gets my goat. Gone are the days of secret back street spots or free parking after 6pm. The priciest and rubbishest parking experiences are arenas, but with deadlines to meet I won’t fork out £25 to get stuck in Manchester Co-op Live’s official car park after the gig. My latest solution there is a secret spot 40 minutes walk away down a dark, deserted, scary canal towpath, so if I don’t get mugged by the car park operators I risk actually getting mugged. Bah! Dave Simpson

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Backpacks, squeezer-ins and the dreaded drum solo: readers on their gig gripes

It has to be 1,000 phones in the air via outstretched arms so that’s all you end up being able to see. Completely ruins gigs. And for what? Do these people really watch the footage back enough times to make it worth not being fully present in the moment? With the high cost of gigs today you’d be better off watching it in the comfort of your living room than through your phone screen … though of course you wouldn’t then get the insta kudos of being able to tag to say you were there. Kerry, Belfast

The over-excited super fan who stands next to you whoops and hollers and in the most recent case repeats “Bob fu@&king Mould” over and over again into my ear drum. Even Bob’s heroic guitars did not drown him out. Jim Mowat

People: gigs get HOT. Please hydrate before – or bring an empty vessel you can fill up once you’re in the venue. A gig I went to in July [Lizzy McAlpine in Manchester] was brought to a standstill – and at a moment of high emotion for the singer – by the sudden need to pass out gallons of water to people who hadn’t thought to procure their own, and were flagging. It’s disrespectful to the artist, not to mention immensely annoying for the rest of the crowd. Rachael Beale

Those in the crowd who feel they have to wear their backpack through the entire show. Absolutely no need. Jason L

The squeezer-ins: I get that people arrive at different times, and the audience at a standing gig is a living, moving organism. I get that people are going to try to get to the front, and I get that often people-sized gaps are left, and that’s OK – an audience is fluid before and during the gig. But, if there isn’t a person-sized hole there, don’t squeeze into it, forcing your physical presence on others who have to move to accommodate your bulk. Be aware of and considerate of those around you. Ian Oxley

My biggest gig gripe is the way some people react to being asked “Can I just get past please mate”. It produces, usually, an irrational and audible response, disturbing the attention of everyone around them. If there’s space then let them through, nod, and say “no worries” as they react with an obligatory “cheers mate”. Nathanael Easey

In the 70s: the dreaded drum solo. You knew it was coming. The band slowly disappeared to get “refreshed” while the drummer banged away for what seemed like two days. Often with a highlight of playing the boards with a spoon. Aarrrghhh! Squideatingdough

People putting other people on their shoulders in front of others and thereby blocking the view of those not just directly, but some distance behind them. It should not be allowed. Janelle Potter

Not a fun one – inaccessible venues! As a wheelchair user, the amount of extra admin required to see live music is mind-boggling. Bigger names play bigger and (hopefully) more accessibility-aware places, but going to smaller venues to see more obscure bands is a massive headache. Most places do try to make it happen, it just takes a lot of sorting out. But often, it feels like some venues have an accessibility statement which might as well be a picture of a shrugging bouncer standing at the top of a flight of stairs. They should do better, and it shouldn’t be the responsibility of the disabled music-lover to make it so. Steve Woodward

The dreaded words “and now a few songs from our new album”. Just play the classics please, that’s why we are all here. Lee Jackson

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