You did violin lessons with Keir Starmer when you were a child. Who was better at violin?
I can’t actually remember the violin lessons. But I was in the same class at school as Keir for five years, so I remember him well. He must have been better at the violin than me, because I did it for about one term. My parents could take no more noise, so I would say Keir was better. It is quite weird when one day you see someone on the telly and go, “Oh look, it is Keir Starmer from 4B.” I think he’s one up on me by becoming prime minister.
Are you still searching for the guy on the cover of You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby?
We had another bash at finding him last year, knowing that the internet can now get anything worldwide. I think we would have found him, or he would have found us, if he was around. I’m assuming from his lifestyle choices he might be dead by now. The picture was taken at a fat person’s festival and he looked quite happy about being fat, with his cigarette in one hand. We would love to give him some money, at least a free T-shirt. But no, we never found him. One day I’ll be wandering down the street and maybe he’ll walk past.
Who’s the most famous person in your phone?
The prime minister! We still talk. Can you beat the British PM? Or maybe Paul McCartney. He used to be my neighbour. We talked about everything, from putting out the bins to music. He would bring my dog back round if she went missing. He was a great neighbour.
In your time performing, have you noticed a change in how people dance?
There’s a lot of people who dance like this [He holds up his mobile phone] – which isn’t my favourite. There isn’t the same abandon as there once was. Obviously, the golden age of DJing is all about raving and the chemicals that were going around in those times made people dance very expressively, very joyfully. There was a lot of hugging.
But the chemical intake has changed. That old adage, “dance like no one’s watching” – if someone is filming you on their phone, you’re always going to feel a bit inhibited if you are worried you might end up on their Instagram.
The ironic thing is, I started putting a sign up on the screens saying, “Please put your phones away. Let’s enjoy the moment” – and then I looked on Instagram and everyone’s filmed it!
To anybody who’s thinking of coming along, take one little clip if you want to have a memory of that night or show off to your mates that you were there, then put the phone in your pocket. Live a little. Do the sort of things that you don’t want to see on Instagram.
Have you ever had a cringe-worthy run-in with a celebrity?
Oh, many! My most memorable one was Dave Berry. I got totally starstruck and I was quite drunk as well. He was ever so polite. I just made a fool of myself. It was when I was the bee’s knees and he did a private show at The Astoria in London, which is a really small venue. I was sitting next to Mick Jagger and Pete Townshend and all his old mates. At the afterparty, obviously he wanted to talk to his old mates, not this drunk idiot. I went, “I’m Fatboy Slim” and he went, “Yeah, I know”. He was very polite, but I walked away with my tail between my legs.
What’s the best piece of advice you have ever received?
You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That one just stuck. If people ask me for life advice, that’s what I give. If I was somebody who had more than one tattoo, I might be tempted to tattoo it on myself.
But the best advice I got from my dad was when I started drinking, which was when I was about 13. He took me aside and he said, “I know you’re drinking. Pound for pound, look at what winos drink – because pound for pound, that’s what gets you drunk the most. So, sherry.” Which was very wise, but not very poetic. I didn’t end up drinking sherry for the rest of my life. Bless my dear old dad for trying.
If you had a sandwich named after you, what would be in it?
There are quite a few sandwiches with my name actually, with a name like Fatboy. It’s more burgers than sandwiches, really. But the Norman Cook would be a take on a pastrami reuben with a phenomenal amount of cheese. And then probably some more cheese on the top of the bread. I firmly believe you can’t have too much cheese on a sandwich.
Do you have something that you’re secretly really good at?
I’m very good at labelling things. Before I got sober, a lot of my life was quite chaotic and so in a semblance of trying to keep some order in my life, I would label everything with a label maker, which I have at my side. [Holds it up] This the don of label makers. I label pretty much everything in my house. The only thing is that it’s not very secret because everyone who comes to my house can go to the fridge and see the cheese shelf and the milk shelf. Woe betide anyone who puts anything in the wrong place. But that is OCD, not actual talent.
Do you have a nemesis?
For a while, Moby. We crossed swords a few times and then it turned into a feud. Now, I’m kind of an easygoing person. I don’t really get into beefs. But we fell out and we were on each other at that point. We were quite similar in what we were doing and I think that’s one of the reasons why we got into the feud. There were also a couple of potential nemeses, but I had them disposed of.
What’s been your most memorable interaction with a fan?
There was a girl in Romania who held up a proper, screenprinted sign saying, “Sign my boob, I’ll get it tattooed”. It was so beautifully done. I saw her and laughed, but then she came backstage. It was really bizarre, because she didn’t speak a word of English. Of course, I obliged and she sent me a photo of it afterwards. She gave me the sign, which I now have framed in my house.
I also have had very beautiful ones. I’ve done about six or seven wedding proposals, where people have got in touch ahead of a show – we put it up on the screen and get the camera on them. Those really touch me. They also tend to invite me to the wedding. It actually happened in Australia. Last week in Bali, I bumped into somebody who got engaged at my show two years ago in Perth. They’re now married and I feel like I’ve got a connection with them. But they didn’t read the small print – if they have children, they have to call their first-born Norman.
The Fatboy Slim Loves Australia tour is heading to Langley Park, WA, on 14 March; Centennial Vineyards, NSW, on 15 March; Peter Lehmann Wines, SA, on 21 March; Mt Duneed Estate, Victoria, on 22 March; and Sirromet Wines, Queensland, on 23 March. Fatboy Slim is also performing at Sydney’s UNSW Roundhouse on 18 March
