Right, I'm outta here. Thanks for reading, and to the commenters who have essentially reduced my carefully thought-out Game Of Thrones awards riff to a discussion about who's got the best arse (it's Hodor, obviously).

I was going to sign off with a little rundown of tonight's telly, but all you really need to know is that BBC4 are showing a documentary about a woman who wanked off a dolphin.

Good night and god bless.

My friend Mimi emails from Paris to tell me about her new audio-visual project Carnet De Voyage, who are playing the Meltdown festival at London's Southbank Centre tomorrow, supporting Neneh Cherry. They promise a "3D sonic and visual journey in collaboration with director Mike Figgis [Leaving Las Vegas, Timecode] and UAU Studio, a new space animation collective."

Sounds intriguing. Here's a little taster:

As it was such a resounding success last week, this Friday we're going to hold another "review anything" day, where we turn our piercing critical gaze to anything you might have made: a song, a poem, a meal, a high-concept subtitled meta-drama (but please, no more stool samples).

For your chance to boast that you were once critically lauded / mercilessly slagged off by the Guide, please tweet your meisterworks to @guideguardian, or post them to the address in the magazine (but please, no more etc etc).

Who doesn't enjoy a spot of supreme Finnish space disco now and again? So here's Speak Out, the new single from Jaakko Eino Kalevi (seen posing above with his own Valyrian steel sword).

Remember MNEK from our British House Mafia feature at the weekend? Well He Wrote A Song About You. Probably not you specifically, although it is sometimes fun to pretend to be the subject of yearning pop-house tunes.

Experimental LA singer-songwriter Julia Holter has covered the Bacharach & David standard, Don't Make Me Over. It's rather lovely.

And finally, here's some ethereal electronica courtesy of Dalhous on the ever-discerning Blackest Ever Black label.

I obviously missed the memo telling me Kelsey Grammar – brother-in-law of Bath City defensive rock Phil Walsh, let's remember – had joined the cast of the new Expendables movie. But now he's there he looks right at home.

You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess; we're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it. That's some premium Stath right there.

It's lunch time, so here are a few linkitos to see you through your munch-packed downtime.

Firstly, are you a keen kids' TV show bod? Well, bully for you friend, because both Dangermouse and 90s teen comedy Blossom are making a comeback.

What's that? You're after an OTT video from an up and coming US rapper who lots of people are claiming could be the next Kendrick Lamar. We've got that too sir.

If you're more into UK Grime artists finally getting a chance to shine on a track by a supercar loving rapper, then you're in luck too. Skepta steps up to the plate and smashes one out of the park.

Finally, did you think Stephen Hawkings wasn't really a funny guy? Think again as the scientist turn the lols up to ten when he appeared on John Oliver's critically lauded late night show (see below).

Across the country, hardy souls are gearing up for the six-day survival challenge that is the Glastonbury festival. But what should you take and what should you leave behind? This morning, First Great Western – a company who always have your best interests at heart, except when they're cancelling the 6.15 to Bristol Temple Meads at short notice – tweeted out this handy checklist.

That's right, Glasto-goers: leave your wheelie bins, tubas and inflatable alligators at home! (As an aside, a friend did once take an inflatable alligator to Bestival. He was dressed up at Steve Irwin, which everyone thought was a really touching tribute – until they saw another friend dressed as a stingray…)

I wondered what other Glasto packing advice was out there, and here's what I discovered.

Glastonburylineup seem to be highly recommending these "pee bags" for when you don't want to risk the long-drops at 4am.

Ingenious, although what's wrong with the old empty cider bottle? Apart from the chances of picking up the wrong bottle in the morning, obvs.

Ultimate Glasto List has a ludicrously comprehensive checklist, including UHT milk, playing cards and a guitar ("likely to get damaged but good entertainment" – we'll be the judge of that, Jack Johnson).

Last year, Guide alumnus Richard Vine scoured the site for tips, with campers recommending everything from plastic sledges to Wire-style burner phones that don't run out of battery.

Basically, just get yourself to the local army surplus this weekend and stock up for a long campaign. Trenchfoot is real, people.

Earlier this year, a test pressing of a never-released Aphex Twin album from 1994 appeared for sale on Discogs.com. Enterprising Aphex fans launched a Kickstarter to buy the album and release it digitally. And $67,424 later, here it is.

Proof that back in the early 90s, Richard D James was producing music at such a rate that he could afford to chuck entire albums of quality ravetronica on the scrapheap. So what about a new album now, eh? His astonishing 2011 live shows proved he can still mix it with the best, but clearly no amount of Kickstarter cash is going to persuade him to make a new record if he simply can't be arsed. What an odd fellow.

While we're on the topic of Game Of Thrones / World Cup mashups – and you did see our lookalikes gallery the other week, right? – here's Phil Neville commentating on the Kingslayer v Ned Stark dust-up, c/o Michael Spicer.

Who did what best in Westeros over the course of the last ten episodes? We hand out the rosettes.

Most Audacious Plot

So, Littlefinger pilfered some rare poison from Pycelle’s stash before he left King’s Landing, had it somehow fashioned into a necklace, bribed a drunk minstrel to give the necklace to Sansa, then relied on Diana Rigg surreptitiously detaching a bead from said necklace and dropping it unnoticed in Joffrey’s wine just at the moment everyone saw it being served to him by Tyrion? Fair play for pulling it off, but couldn’t he have just hired a hitman?

Best Scheming

Littlefinger may be playing the long game, but Cersei’s still the master of short-term strategy. Knowing that Tyrion would ask the dangerous Bronn to be his champion, she swiftly married him off to a rich, ageing maid. Let’s hope that doesn’t spell the end of Jerome Flynn’s pottymouthed swashbuckler.

Finest Hangdog Expression

Pity the poor Hound. Over the course of four series he went from fearsome defender of the realm to world-weary warrior without portfolio, forced to escort Scrappy Doo to the furthest corners of Westeros in order to cash in his pension. Except every time he got within reach of the cheque, another Stark family member inconveniently carked it, before an old grudge came back to bite him in the behind. There’s a c-word for that.

Recognition In The Field Of Golddigging

Respect to Margaery. She’s a gal who knows what she wants, and that thing is a royal crest on her stationary, regardless of who she has to marry to get it. First she shacked up with poor old Renly (although to be fair, that seemed to be more of a favour for her brother), then she got her claws into Joffrey, and finally with the psycho pipsqueak’s corpse still warm in the ground, she put the moves on his underage brother, presumingly causing all many of besmirchment to the royal bed linen.

Most Tenacious Character

He’s survived an excursion far into Wildling territory despite being about as useful with a sword as he is with a razor. He’s gone toe-to-toe with a white walker and lived to tell the tale, and he was still standing after the bloody battle of Castle Black. Samwell Tarly is the character who just won’t die! Yes, we appreciate that we need a kind-hearted twerp in the midst of all the unpleasantness, but can’t they just kill him off and replace him with a less annoying version?

Most Baffling Speech

Was Tyrion’s lengthy reminiscence about his “beedle”-crushing cousin intended to foreshadow the nature of Oberyn’s demise? Was it a metaphor about the futility of the continuous bloodshed perpetuated by his family? Or was it just a deliberately enigmatic slice of baloney to make the show seem vaguely profound before normal, gratuitously violent service resumed?

Please feel free to submit your own award suggestions, I'll post the best later.

Morning all. Well, that was a thriller wasn't it? And I'm not talking about Iran v Nigeria, hyuk hyuk.

To celebrate last night's Game Of Thrones finale, we'll be handing out the end-of-season awards just as soon as I can conjure up some vaguely humorous accompanying blurb. In the meantime, here's a lovely new track from Jessie Ware. Tough Love is the first sighter from her second album, which is due in the autumn, and will feature collaborations with Miguel, Ed Sheeran, Julio Bashmore, Dave Okumu, Kid Harpoon, James Ford and BenZel (who produced this one).