To Thailand, and the latest spinoff of the Crime Scene Investigation series. CSI Rihanna has been underway for a few weeks now, as the Thai police appear to regard the singer's social media output as the hottest lead in town.

To date, three Thai men have been arrested following unwitting tip-offs by Rihanna. The first two were picked up a couple of weeks ago, after madam posted a snap of her posing with a slow loris, which is a protected species. Then just the other day, she took to Twitter to opine: "Either I was phuck wasted last night, or I saw a woman pull a live bird, 2 turtles, razors, shoot darts and ping pong, all out of her pu$$y." (Thailand must be ahead of us on Downton.) Without further ado, the police swooped on the Phuket bar in question, and the owner is now up on charges too.

As for Rihanna, she has yet to request assistance from the witness protection programme, but hats off to her record company for realising that police snitch is her most intriguing pose yet.