I wouldn’t say that I’m a hoarder, exactly, but I will admit that there is no shelf in my flat left unadorned with photographs or trinkets or slightly pathetic miniature plants that could do with a good drink.
As someone who moves house more often than I buy a new winter coat, this is not a practical trait, but still, I can find ledges where you would not believe. That flat part on top of the mirror? Perfect for postcards. Weird bit along the stairs that doesn’t seem to have any structural purpose? Exactly the right place for an exhibition of the exhibitions I’ve seen over the last couple of years, perked up with some holiday snaps and another plant. While it’s not quite at Channel 4 documentary intervention levels yet, I unashamedly love stuff.
Two words, then, strike fear in my heart: “Marie” and “Kondo”. At this time of year, it’s very difficult to avoid any mention of the Japanese guru’s minimalist philosophies, but I have a pathological aversion to advice on cutting back on stuff. But now that she has her own show on Netflix, and my algorithm thinks I need to watch it, she has become impossible to avoid. Kondo is taking the tips she developed in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying and guiding real people through the process, in a series that comes off as a cross between Queer Eye, Supernanny and How Clean Is Your House?, which, come to think of it, explains why that algorithm is so insistent that it’s for me.
So, persuaded by constant exposure, I gave in and watched Kondo do her thing. It is exactly the kind of television I enjoy: it’s a nose around other people’s lives, with an uplifting feelgood message to boot. But I am yet to be converted by the pull of less stuff (on a separate note, David Attenborough might have something to say about all those bin bags full of rubbish and plastic boxes for “organising”).
While I understand that having three separate “crap drawers” in different rooms may not be bringing me joy, I blench at the idea of neat boxes and bare shelves. My grandparents had houses brimming with photographs and ornaments, essentially memories made physical. They were happy places to be, for many reasons, and their homes were so distinctively theirs, in part because of all the stuff they had.
Having said that, I’m only a couple of episodes in and I am starting to wonder if a cupboard full of Nokia chargers has quite the same emotional pull. Perhaps Marie Kondo will bring me joy after all.
Don’t damn Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for not toeing the line
Mid-January seems too soon to stake a claim on the most 2019 news story of 2019, but a strong candidate has emerged. The congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, 29, has faced significant scrutiny during the first few days of taking her seat, for calling for a 70% tax rate (not across the board, as was wilfully misunderstood, but for earnings beyond $10m) and for daring to dance on camera before she was a public figure.
Last week, an unexpected pocket of the internet came to her rescue by helping to debunk a fake nude picture that has been circulating online. The photograph, of a woman in a bath with a candle, vaping, was published on a rightwing news site, having been captioned as an Instagram post by the congresswoman from 2016. In fact, as reported by Motherboard, the picture had been discredited by a foot fetish website called wikiFeet, whose users cross-referenced existing pictures of Ocasio-Cortez’s feet and concluded that these were, in fact, not the same ones. “I’ve sucked enough toes in my life to recognise when something doesn’t look right,” one user told the reporter. Those who claim that civil discourse is disintegrating may be surprised to learn of Wikifeet’s contribution to righting these wrongs, but we live in confusing times.
“Women in leadership face more scrutiny. Period,” tweeted Ocasio-Cortez, condemning the news site that published the picture, while adding that tabloids had offered her boyfriend’s family money for stories about her. This is not scrutiny. This is a red flag, a warning, an attempt to dissuade others like her. “If they want to make an example out of me, I will gladly be one,” she later wrote. “Hopefully, we can be an example of dedication, courage and persistence under fire.”
Blue isn’t Kate Bush’s favourite colour
Not since Alfie Deyes has a famous person’s denial that she is a Tory been so headline-worthy. While YouTuber Deyes filmed his bewilderment that Twitter kept calling him one – “I just want to 100% clear that up right now that I am not a Tory,” he said, after a brief backlash against a video of him living on £1 a day for entertainment – Kate Bush has felt the need to make a rare public statement in order to clarify comments she made in 2016 about Theresa May.
“With no response from me to the latest resurfacing of this article, it could make it seem like I am a Tory supporter which I want to make it clear I am not,” she explained.
She added that she spoke about May only because she “greatly disliked the behaviour of the previous PM, who at that point I felt had abandoned us”. You just know that David Cameron has got a Kate Bush playlist that he wheels out for dinner parties. I know it’s adolescent to find it as satisfying as I do, but the idea that Bush might have just ruined the soundtrack to Cameron’s summer soirees is one I quite enjoy.
• Rebecca Nicholson is an Observer columnist
